Oh, Vossler’s, what times we’ve had.

Whoever said Vossler’s Corn Maze closed down is a big fat liar.

Here’s how to have the most fun at the corn maze this year:

  • Get 10 to 200 of your closest friends together and get them all tipsy. Just enough to be giggly, but not drunk enough to prohibit driving/being kicked out for disorderly conduct/having bad breath.
  • Split those 200 people into teams and see who can punch in at all the checkpoints first.
  • Block out 3 or 4 hours of your day for this godforsaken task.
  • Don’t forget the flashlights. Do. NOT. FORGET. The flashlights.
  • Keep a helicopter pilot on speed dial. Just in case.

Hours & info:

  • Just north of South Mooney Boulevard and Avenue 266
  • September hours: Fridays and Saturdays, 5-10 p.m.; Sundays, 5-9 p.m. (Beginning Sept. 29, maze is open daily except Monday and Tuesday).
  • Prices: 12-54, $8; 11 and younger, $6; 55 and older, $5; 4 and younger and those with current military ID, free
  • Information: (888) 528-1724; www.vosslerfarms.com

(EDIT: The no-fun joykillers at Vossler Farms said that among the basic rules: no running or throwing corn, no alcoholic beverages and no smoking. Booo-urns.)

(EDIT AGAIN!: I found two videos online for Vossler Farms — the first one is at the Times-Delta website and the second one is at The Jaded Visalian. Check em out. Also: who knew that the Times-Delta employed someone so HOT?)

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1 Comment »

  1. […] come crying to me. Cry instead to your friendly neighborhood helicopter pilot, like I told you before to […]


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