Archive for politics

Weighing in on the city council

Mary Wheeler is the best. Don’t listen to Barkos. It’s the fact that she’s clueless makes her the best candidate to represent the other clueless people in Visalia. Plus she’s in a wheelchair, so it’s officially illegal to criticize anything about her, even if she’s running for public office without any experience, or ideas, or coherent understanding of what it takes to be on the city council.

Anyway, who cares? She is the sweetest lady, and President of the World is not that much to ask.

As for the other candidates, I was surprised to hear that my standout candidates from the debate of yestermonth didn’t do so well at the Oval, Barkos says. I thought Mike Lane and Amy Shuklian really made an impression on me with their understanding of how the system works — but then again, that may not be so good: perhaps being too entrenched into city politics takes away any sort of real-world perspective you could have. (I say that as if I live in the real world, which many of you readers will have known by now that I clearly do not.)

I do like Amy because she’s done plenty of grassroots work and really does know Visalia in and out. I like Mike Lane because he’s done a bunch for the school and for the poor of the community (Self-Help, north side redevelopment, etc). I also really like Roland and you can tell he would bring a fresh perspective to things, so you can’t go wrong with a guy who takes a 50% pay cut to go into a grueling, thankless job like a public defender. And Tim Fosberg has a really great handling on the city finances and can put the right priorities into place.

Don’t know what to make of Rusty Barker, as he wasn’t quite up on Visalia issues as the rest of them. Also, he doesn’t show up many places that I know of, and 80% of a campaign is just showing up. Rusty may be just a little… rusty.

No one I talked to seem to like Bob Link much, who apparently was a no-show at the Oval, probably because he either a) feared for his life, b) had “prior commitments,” or c) used b) to explain a). He also made a swipe at my beloved Donya during the last debate I saw, which I am still bitter over. Donya as many of you know is the sweetest homeless lady you’ll ever meet, in fact, the sweetest lady you’ll ever meet, period. She lives on Main Street and has the gall to sleep in front of Link’s Men’s Wear, which is Bob Link’s downtown men’s-suit-shoppery, whatever you call them places. I understand it’s hard to help someone who doesn’t want it, and I also understand it’s bad for business, but is your business open at midnight, Mr. Link? And I just didn’t like the rude and uncompassionate way he talked about her, the coolest woman since Mary Wheeler.

In any case, vote next week, Tuesday November 6. Whether you listen to me or Barkos, just get informed as best as you can, then make a wise decision.

Or just do eenie-meenie-miney-moe. That works too.

Impressions from “Live at the Oval”

Guest post from the wicked-awesome Barkos:

Sitting in the grass earlier today … I was eating an orange and pondering how the hell to write about this event I was witnessing before me. True political coverage? As in “This is Barkos, reporting live from The Oval! We’ll have the blow by blow right after!” Ah…no. Alas my attention span at times is not long enough to be that accurate. Note to self to bring a video camera next time. Great. More things with batteries to worry about. In any case, I will have to just have to plunge into the impressions (notice how I deftly stalled for time while I thought of how to start…clever ain’t I?) It was a beautiful day out under the North Visalia skies as the mics powered up. The volunteers with KFSC 94.1 did a fantastic job of organizing this event, I have to say. There was an art table for folks and kid folk to play on. There were refreshments (at astonishingly low prices … only 50 cents for a huge bag of popcorn.) and two pinatas for tiny children to bludgeon. And who wouldn’t appreciate the presence of this fellow…

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The chicken looked on stoically as the candidates began to answer in rotating order questions from a list someone, somewhere printed off.

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Roland Soltesz: Seems like a very reasonable person. The most striking thing he said was that we should actually limit the size that our city grows. What!? How dare we take away money from those rich developers from out of town! They may have to settle for Chinese leather shoes instead of Italian ones. So right on I say to Mr. Soltesz and his near untypeable name. A former public defender who, according to him, quit his private practice and took a 50% pay cut to become one. Damn. If that’s true then that is dedication. He is for more transparent government and had a snazzy blue shirt on.

Amy Shuklian: A very “real” sounding person in some ways, but in other ways her answers seemed a little rehearsed. She said some good things. She has lived in Visalia her entire life, so that is a plus…you know she must care at least a little. She wants more community involvement (You askin’ me to get offa’ the couch?! Damn you!) and apparently used to shop at the liquor store near the Oval. At least I think it was the liquor store she was pointing to…(Libel suit pending…)

Mike Lane: The first words out of this person’s mouth were in Spanish. I found this odd because it seems he did so in order to convince people that he really does know Spanish. Because he sure as hell didn’t do it to translate his answers to the masses. I mean he only did it like 2 times. He was dressed in some sort of a soccer design team shirt. A strange choice of wardrobe for attending a forum. Still, he seemed reasonable enough…nothing else he said though really stuck out for me. I think I stopped listening after that whole Spanish intro thing…

Mary Wheeler: Ok, I am going to get some disagreement possibly from the head snark around here on this one considering the amount of “Mary Wheeler Love” that I have seen around here but I thought she seemed really clueless as to the answers to any of the questions asked. In response to what to do about the traffic problem….”there’s too much traffic! I…I don’t know what to do about traffic.” In response to one question….” I agree with everything Mike just said. Thank You.” Another question….”I’m gonna have to think about that one.” I may be being a little harsh here (and NO I don’t like to pick on people in wheelchairs…crutches yes, wheelchairs no…) but she seemed not to have answers for anything (at least answers that weren’t horribly vague.) But… she does seem like a truly nice person who just wants to help out. City Council Member? I don’t think so.

Tim Fosberg: The best thing I liked about him was that he said he wanted to run for city council to make government more accountable (line em up!) Mentioned many times about the Visalia Oaks stadium being a handout to private enterprise. He could be right…The second best thing about him was his snappy suit jacket. Easily the best dressed candidate there.

Well in the end I came away with the best feelings about Fosberg and Soltesz. They spoke well and seemed to be consistently saying things that make sense. I had a soda and some popcorn. I learned about new programs and the inner working of city government. And best of all…I witnessed the demise of a paper chicken. Who could ask for a better Sunday?

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No-show candidate is a yes-show after all!

RUMOR #1: Tim Fosberg, the famously hard-to-get-a-hold-of candidate for city council, is now gotten a hold of! Or, has now been hold of gotten, or has gotten a hold of them, or…

Whatever. The organizers for the Oval Park city council debate on Oct. 28 told me they got a call from the man, the mystery, the Fosberg himself. AND!…

RUMOR #2: He said he found out about it via “the web.” Which can only mean…

RUMOR #3: Visalia*Snark has reached official rumor-mill cult status in Visalia! Or,

RUMOR #4: I am so full of myself I believe I am the only thing with Tim Fosberg’s name on it on the web. However,

FACT #1: According to Google, I just about am.

Anyway, if you’re reading this, Tim Fosberg, I’m sorry about the thing I said about the thing and stuff. Go Tim!

Apparently, the organizers still need to contact Rusty Barker and… yes, my lovely woman Mary Wheeler, without whom I shall cease the will to live. My hope and prayer is that the event will be wheelchair-accessible to accommodate Ms. Wheeler, the most awesomest awesome candidate the world has ever known. FACT #2.

Candidates who dare step foot on the north side? Oh it is ON!

I don’t know if this whole thing was sparked by an off-hand comment by Tim Fosberg, a city council candidate who asked at the forum a few weeks ago why there were no council meetings or forums on the north side (represent!).

But guess what, beeeyatches, there WILL BE ONE!

Oct. 28, 2-7 pm, the world-famous Oval Park. (There will also be music, so hopefully the candidates will bring their dancing shoes, and the city as a whole will laugh at them.)

One of the event coordinators contacted me and said they have half the candidates lined up already (and apparently — I’m not making this up — Tim Fosberg is nowhere to be found.)

I am so excited to have these people face the reality of the other, less-pretty, historical downtown and answer their questions, like “why don’t you give a shit about us” and “why are you all white.” And I will pay one of them to say “birth right” to both questions. And it will be awesome.

I will also be asking my homegirl Mary Wheeler if she is a true O.G. She’ll probably deny it, ask what an O.G. is, and then her magical answer win the hearts and minds of the universe. My plans to make her President of the World will work, and we will live in harmony for the rest of our lives.

[EDIT: My apologies to candidate Roland Lee Soltesz, who may or may not be white. I just... um..... this is embarrasing... I.... can't... tell..... :/.... can you?]

The Visalia Fox — Vicente, that is

It’s true. The former president of our neighbor nation to the south — that’s Mexico for all you who flunked geography — comes to Visalia for no particular reason whatsoever. (Come on, an event named BizTalk? How about PoliticoTalk, ImmigTalk or LetMyPeopleGo-Talk?)

Whatever. If you’re pro-loosening of the borders, Mr. Fox (not to be confused with my beloved Kopi of Fox 26) would have seemed a hero. If you’re pro-tightening the borders, you may have seen his very presence in the country as evidence that the border patrol is not doing their job. If you’re a racist bastard, who cares what you think. Stop taking up space on the Times-Delta boards and shut up already.

In any case, the visit should be marked in Visalia’s historical books as “The Day That President Guy Came to Sell His Book.

And that should be appreciated by any Visalian, whatever side of the fence you stand on.

(Ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.)

Mary Wheeler for President!!

Before I begin, I have to say that my hatred for KSEE 24 is compounded by the fact that 1) they don’t have a Comcast On Demand section while 4 other local networks do, 2) I can’t tell Stefani Booroojian and Alex Delgado apart (not their fault, but whoever does the hiring needs to rethink their strategies), and 3) the serious lack of Kopi Sotiropulous does damage to my serotonin levels.

Anyway, after struggling to download the stupid, stupid KSEE 24 video and having finally seen the Visalia City Council forum via other, more illicit means, I have come to this simple conclusion: Mary Wheeler is severely shortcoming herself with this meager run for Podunk City Council.

She needs to run for President of the World.

Not only does this magnificant woman with the southern drawl NOT know what Trader Joe’s is, housing density is, or that Visalia even had a historical district, her last name is Wheeler and she is in a wheelchair, and that makes her absolutely ROCK.

This amazing woman has to be seen to be believed, and boy do I wish I could recommend the KSEE 24 link to all y’all. But nooooooo.

[EDIT: More local election information is here.]

The candidates forum will be televised

Apparently, there will be a forum of Visalia city council candidates at at El Diamante High School from 7-9 p.m. Sept. 24 (that’s this Monday). And the good news is that it will be televised on KSEE 24, or Comcast channel 195, or www.ksee24.com, depending on who you believe. I’m quite stoked about the webcast, I don’t think that’s ever been done in Visalia before. (Has it?) However, I also hear a rumor that for some stupid reason, you have to click on the “Weather” section of ksee24.com to view it. I guess because this candidate forum will come at you like a hurricane or something. :/

Anyway, all 7 candidates said they will be attending:

Bob Link (the incumbent)
Timothy Fosberg
Mike Lane
Rusty Barker
Amy Shuklian
Roland Lee Soltesz
Mary Wheeler

(if anyone knows of any candidate websites I’m missing, please email me at visaliasnark at yahoo daught calm.)

It’s interesting to note that the only thing I remember from any of these candidates is this article. Basically, Mike Lane lashed out at the parents of a group of kids arrested for having a brawl at school, saying the parents should be the ones held responsible. Candidates reacted. This will probably be hot topic #1 at the forum, since it seems like there’s not much else to talk about these candidates. Hopefully this debate will reveal more differences and make the choice a little more clear for us voters.

Download a list of all this year’s candidates in the area for any position, ever.

(Side note: The next candidate forum will be for the school board of trustees: 7-9 p.m. on Monday, Oct. 8, at the Mill Creek Conference Center, also known as the Elks Club Lodge. I think it’s still the same deal, with KSEE covering it on television and such.)

Our Valley. Our Choice.

So I sat my poor ass down in Borders and read all evening over a cup of coffee. The only place cheaper is the library, and they don’t allow drinks in there, out of fear they would spill it on their only copy of WordPerfect for Dummies 1990.

I spent some decent time perusing the usual piles of paperbacks they have by the register, and after coming face to face with supposedly the world’s worst dog yet again, I came across this book:

Our Valley. Our Choice.

I thought it was going to be another sort of local-author-finds-vanity-press sort of book. I was mistaken. It’s actually quite good. And informative. And visually appealing.

It’s published by the Great Valley Center, which is a nonprofit “supporting the economic, social and environmental well-being of California’s Great Central Valley.” Good enough for me.

If you don’t like reading (like many other Visalians — admit it, it’s true) this is still a great book. Lots of charts and pictures and blurbs and really great, stylish graphics throughout. It’s like “An Inconvenient Truth” for the Central Valley. And if I had any money on me, I would totally go out and buy it.

However, full disclosure, if you buy it through the Amazon link I posted, perhaps one day I will.