Archive for local guide

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{ December 10, 2007 @ 1:06 am } · { local guide, spotlight }
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KFSC 94.1 FM
http://www.myspace.com/kfsc941

I would like to announce to my friends, my loved ones and anyone else in the world who is reading this that I love KFSC like a fat kid loves cake. I randomly tuned in today to a really interesting chat show about Visalia issues and news (hells yes, I’m not the only local culture whore out there!).

Problem is, I don’t know what it was called or when it played or what it sounds like or if this was all a dream (my vote is for the latter because KFSC is That. Awesome.). I only heard it on the 5 minute drive to my boring non-snarky life that has taken over my way cool snarky fun life lately. Does anyone know what it was or who did it?

In any case, I highly recommend turning your radio dial to 94.1 on every half an hour and running some kind of voice recognition software to see who that dude was for me. And then you should probably stalk him for me too, then get arrested for trespassing for me. It’s all I ask.

(I suppose I could post a comment to http://www.myspace.com/kfsc941 and ask them myself if I wanted, but what’s the fun in that? I’m trying to get AWAY from the stupid boring non-snark world I have to put up with every day.)

What Visalia does with MySpace (no no, this time it’s legal — and amazing!)

{ November 12, 2007 @ 2:32 am } · { local guide, spotlight, visalia }
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This is what happens when you have a little time to kill and you choose MySpace as your murder weapon: you click on friends of friends of friends and then you stumble upon some awesome stuff happening in your corner of the world AND the world, simultaneously.

For the local bands

559 Band Index
http://www.myspace.com/559bandindex

This is the place for bands in the 559 to post bulletins and befriend each other. Someone who works for the COS newspaper put out an all-points bullletin with a tantalizing offer: List your band and possibly get reviewed in the paper. Looks like there’s lots of rock/punk/metal/hardcore stuff so far. Come on you mariachi/folk/polka/marching bands! Show ‘em what you’re made of!

Concrete Culture
http://www.myspace.com/dayoftheartist

If you liked the idea of free reviews/publicity of your music in print, you will probably like the idea of free airplay even more. Concrete Culture is now looking for local bands and musicians of all types to play on 94.1 FM, the community radio station which is possibly the best thing to happen to Visalia since Aaron Gomes and is worthy of a whole ‘nother separate post, but for right now, yeah, send all of your music to Concrete Culture!

(This MySpace could also easily fit in the category below, but since I just happened to catch Concrete Culture’s bulletin about the bands, I decided to stick it in this one.)

For the artists

Visalia Art Community
http://groups.myspace.com/VisaliaArtCommunity

One thing that MySpace does not do well is groups. It doesn’t track any group activity on your home page, neither does it integrate it into anything else you normally do on MySpace. But it helps to just have a directory of people who are interested in the same thing to start contacting each other. In that case, Visalia Art Community gets a humongous thumbs up from me. (And Tom gets a giant complaint letter about the interface of his dumb site, with which we all have to work extra hard to make it any useful.)

For the filmmakers

Entandem Productions
http://www.myspace.com/entandemproductions

This group is all about independent film — and the making of it — right here in the Central Valley.

Their words: “Entandem Productions is as dedicated to local economic development as we are to original art. We use San Joaquin Valley locations and talent to produce locally made films for national and international distribution.”

They are also the sponsor of the fresnofilmmakersforum.com, which we just missed but judging by the overwhelming turnout will be held again, for sure.

For the political activists

Food Not Bombs Visalia
http://www.myspace.com/foodnotbombsvisalia

A brand new Visalia chapter of the nationwide group Food Not Bombs “collects surplus food that would otherwise go to waste from grocery stores, bakeries and markets, then prepare it into community meals which are served for free to anyone who is hungry.” Simple enough — then you add the messages of peace and vegetarianism to the mix, which makes for a very unique soup kitchen. All hungry hippies apply!

Know any more?

Leave a comment here if you know of any other group out there doing something amazing with MySpace that involves Visalia. Or message me at my MySpace, because while sometimes I will browse the bulletins to see if something catches my eye, most of the time I will not bother with clicking on 200 “I updated my music on my profile! Comment because I need your approval to exist” notices. (And if you’re doing that, for the love of God please stop it.)

The Ultimate Scare: Candy from the Mall

{ October 22, 2007 @ 1:45 am } · { local guide, visalia }
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Well folks it’s inching towards October 31st and I hope you are all happy with yourselves. Not content with killing the true meaning of Christmas (you know…that feeling you get when you pretended to be surprised after unwrapping a toy that you had begged and begged your parents for for 11 months) now you have gone and executed the visceral joy that was All Hallows Eve. So now that you’re all completely protected and safe from the horrors of razor blade apples ( a non-existent urban myth) and strangers poisoning candy (1 reported incident and it was a FAMILY MEMBER trying to cash in insurance money.), we are all free and able to take our children to a place that truly inspires fear: your local mall. Upon our arrival in Visalia 3 years ago, we decided to take our kids trick or treating in the supposedly affluent side of town at the suggestion of a co-worker. What we found were empty streets and lonely street lamps standing around as if to say “this is scary, no? I mean aside from the fact that I can talk. I’m just a street lamp and I’m frickin’ scared…hold me?”. Imagine my fear when I heard that most kids just go to the mall to have underpaid retail store employees joylessly (and lets not forget safely) hand them candy. Now I may be old but when I was a kid, we actually dared to leave the house with a bag and knock on our neighbors’ doors (gasp!) expecting candy and hoping for a little something more; the possibility of being scared. To me, this is what Halloween is all about, the thrill of being scared..although it’s more traditional origins stem more from the pagan Day of the Dead in which costumes and decorations were meant to scare off the spirits purported to be visiting us around that time of year. But I’m not going that far back…jeez, I mean how old do you think I am? To me the tradition of trick or treating is entirely suffocated when you confine it to something as banal as the mall. I mean, what the heck is so scary there? That weird cheese they serve in cups at the pretzel store? Ok, I’ll grant you that but besides that and all the wandering extras from a music video…what is there? The scariest thing I ever saw in a mall was in “Dawn of the Dead” and those were zombies in a movie, not food court employees in real life (though their markings are similar) So I say: let’s bring it back! If anyone comes to your door this Halloween, make sure you scare the living crud out of them. Lets do it and do it soon…before our kids end up at WalMart or even a Super Target, lifelessly holding out a pre-printed Disney bag asking for candy, smug in the assumption that they will get exactly that…and not a thing more.

-Barkos

Sweet, sweet local podcasts

{ October 15, 2007 @ 10:24 pm } · { local guide, visalia }
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Podcasts are wonderful. They let any moron with a microphone and a computer host their own online radio show, which gets downloaded 5 times by family members and lasts about 3 weeks before the said moron gets bored and goes back to bean-counting for a living.

But some people are natural-born podcasters who withstand that test of time, and some of those happen to hail from our beloved center of the universe called Visalia.

I now listen to 3 on a regular basis, so when I’m on long drives to get the hell away from the center of the universe called Visalia, I can still keep that digital tether intact.

The Jaded Visalian

Get jaded, Visalia: TheJadedVisalian.com rocks. I’ve linked to these guys in my blogroll but feel extra-special now that visalia*snark got a shoutout in their latest podcast. So here’s a shout straight back.

About them: Dave and Jen are self-described “misfit Christians,” a fun couple who have a knack for making the everyday stuff entertaining, which is an oh-so-important survival skill when you live in V-Town. They can make a casserole cookoff sound totally w00t-worthy.

Expect to hear: Updates on their day-to-day lives, silly stories about their kids, and an occasional outburst of mariachi music any time they mention Mexico.

Maxeamus Radio Exito

I remember listening in back in the day when RealAudio was the latest in cutting-edge Internet sound technology. And the tagline is still the same: “Broadcasting from the beautiful white sandy beaches of Visalia, California.” Which is great, because while Visalia isn’t beautiful or sandy, it is indeed white.

About him: this is long-time local internet radio-veteran-slash-hero New Seamus and his newest musical reincarnation.

Expect to hear: Lots of great indie rock music interspersed with observances and life updates by the host. Usually not safe for work, as New Seamus has a tender affection for the f-bomb. Also docks organized religion in a big way, so if you’re easily offended, cover your ears. He also co-hosts another podcast called…

It’s Weird to be Alive

A super-entertaining pseudo-intellectual couple-cast talk show. It’s New Seamus and his wife and it’s part of the Maxeamus Radio Exito network.

About them: According to their theme song, “New Seamus and Berkson fell in love and they made this kick-ass show, so today’s your lucky day!” That’s all you need to know. And yes, it truly is weird to be alive.

Expect to hear: Organic discussions on life and music and personal stories, mixed in with lots of cussing and couple-banter (the highly enjoyable kind). They also occasionally have special guests if they so feel like it.

So those are my top 3 Visalia-based podcasts. My iTunes is finding a whole lot more when I search for “Visalia,” but I haven’t had the time to really listen to them. I know lots of local churches are putting their sermons online to download, too. I’m also seeing some other interesting titles that I’ll have to check out sometime soon.

And, as always, if you know of any that you think I’d like, leave them in the comments below…

[EDIT:]

Here’s one more.

El Diamante video podcast

About them: I just spoke to Jim Sill at El Diamante and he and his students are putting together a fantastic video podcast that should start broadcasting again by the end of the week. They’ve been pulled directly from their monthly magazine-style TV show at El Diamante High School. He says he’s got some segments in the bag already, it’s just a matter of posting them to the videocast. Click here to subscribe via iTunes. It’s called “On Air with Ed Hews” there.

Expect to hear:  “News, entertainment, commercials, and humor,” according to the podcast description, and from what I’ve seen from last year’s students, it’s going to be top quality.

Newspapers, magazines, and publications, oh my!

{ September 9, 2007 @ 10:23 am } · { local guide }
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I have a humongo stack of Visalia-area publications in the other room, but I am far too lazy to go in and dig it up at the moment. Luckily my freshest stack of pulp-based local media is right by my desk, so I thought that either as a service to you or a venting mechanism for me, I would list everything I’ve got at the moment (and what I remember having in the room 10 yards away):

  • Visalia Times-Delta, the only daily publication in the area, owned by the huge-ass Gannett corporation. For a local daily, it does its job at reporting the daily news, and the website has improved big time over the years with forums and text messages and email newsletters, etc., but there’s this little problem:
  • Valley Voice, a weekly paper who is known for scooping the daily Times-Delta. All. The. Time. (If only they would consider a redesign and publish articles I’m actually interested in, I just might read the damn thing!)
  • Tulare Advance-Register, practically the same thing as the Times-Delta only the word “Visalia” is replaced with “Tulare” in the articles. Also owned by Gannett.
  • South Valley Fresno Bee. They seem to have more room for longer stories, which is good. Still not as widely read as the other publications, but probably should be.
  • Tulare County Magazine, from the folks that brought you the Times-Delta and Advance-Register. Usually has some decent profiles on the big names in the community. Also features articles on food, pets and whatever they think passes as fashion for rich white women.
  • Visalia Lifestyles, from these people. Hyper-glossy and aimed at upscale living.
  • Visalia Direct, again, will these people ever shut up? Not-so-glossy newsprint mag that tries to peddle advertising as articles. Not cool.
  • Sound and Vision Magazine (myspace), from local legend and indie rock god Vernal Falls to promote his latest live music shows.
  • Alien Vice, an awesome independent art zine.
  • Visalia Buzz, which must be done by a bored stay-at-home mom because it’s 1) printed on one huge bright yellow sheet, 2) typed up in some cutesy font and 3) crap.
  • The Valley Conservative, a paper whose all-caps headlines and cut-and-pasted articles from Ann Coulter and Oliver North give a voice to all those poor disenfranchised and voiceless valley Republicans.
  • Vox Pop Influentials, a magazine that I found in the middle of nowhere on complete accident. It’s hard to find and it looks like any other magazine (again with the gloss!), but they do have some interesting profiles and columnists. Like most glossy publications around here, it’s published by an ad agency, this one named Latronico. I don’t trust ad agencies to be anything other than self-serving. (Hey, you’re a client and you want an ad designed and published? Umm, let me whip something up real quick…)
  • Visalia Chamber of Commerce, with articles aimed at local businesses acts more like a business-to-business newsletter than anything, other than:
  • ROI Sequoia Valley, Visalia’s only true business-to-business magazine and published by the Times-Delta and Advance-Register, again. You can’t get it off the streets, but you can access it online, or else you have to at least pretend to be involved in business to get a subscription.
  • Senior Advocate, geared towards the elderly. For the most part it’s news you can find anywhere else, but there’s a couple of local resources listed in some articles.
  • Vital Signs, a magazine put out by Kaweah Delta District Hospital. Has some good health articles that you can get anywhere, and a few local spins here and there. Unfortunately, it’s put out by these people again.
  • Your Health, an atrocious magazine that passes plastic surgery and other hideously unnatural medical procedures as “health information.” It doesn’t look local at all but it barely passes the mark by including the words Tulare County on the cover. The Times-Delta should be ashamed of themselves for publishing this tripe.
  • Central California Parent, more Fresno-based than Visalia but still has some local family events and other parenting articles you could find anywhere.
  • News Link, if we’re going to go for Fresno-based stuff, is a GLBT newspaper distributed at Borders in Visalia.
  • A bazillion trillion classified stuff like Cars.com and real estate listings and Thrifty Nickel which are only of use when you’re buying a car, looking for estate or thrifting your nickels.
  • There’s a couple more that I remember seeing in recent times, but I’m not sure they’re around anymore: there was a Christian magazine or two, one distributed at Coffee Co and another at Watson’s Veggie Garden; then there was a Visalia Wedding magazine which was from these people YET AGAIN; then there were several whose fates I know for a fact to be finito.

All this stuff that’s killing trees, and yet no big, centralized, all-encompassing online publication out there. There’s a few at the Times-Delta website (I’m a particular fan of Mike Hazelwood’s), but they seem like in their own separate world. And I won’t discount all the good myspace stuff out there, but again, they’re in their own little world too.

Hopefully, perhaps, if this website/blog is successful, maybe this will be a good step in the right direction.

[EDIT: I should add the two publications I mentioned in my previous blog, which are Valley Trends and What's Up Central California. Of the two, I appreciate Valley Trends more because it actually has interesting articles. Sort of fluffy, but they highlight some good parts of the community. WUCC is run by the people at gorrilatix.com and is basically another way to advertise the events they sell tickets for. Both magazines are too glossy for my taste, but whatchagonnado.]

The newest Visalia magazines… and they’re too shiny.

{ September 9, 2007 @ 10:23 am } · { just my opinion, local guide }
{ Comments (4) }

I am all about new and hot publications for Visalia, but perhaps this is getting a little out of hand.

Two new splashy slick magazines made their debut in recent months: Valley Trends is a small little new magazine put on by visaliamarketing.com, and direct-mail-and-hotel-only mag events magazine What’s Up Central Valley is sponsored by gorrillatix.com. (I don’t trust that monkey. It is up to NO GOOD.)

Perhaps something turns me off about just how *glossy* everything is. With the exception of one little yellow-sheeted piece of piss called the Visalia Buzz (and again, I’m probably just jealous that whoever is doing that is making bank on ads and publishing any old crappy email forward they come across as content), these publications are too, how should I say this nicely, catered to people at a certain income-tax bracket. You know, the one well above yours and mine.

Another thing that turns me off: It’s great seeing names in beautiful graphics and high-process finishing, but it’s so lovely and colorful that it blends RIGHT IN with the crowd. Only because I collect local publications do I even realize they’re not leftovers from the Borders rack.

At first glance I can’t tell whether or not publications like Valley Trends is a national publication or not. Nothing says local to me. Nothing feels homegrown. You have to take out a magnifying glass to see the word Valley in their main logo! And do you know how many valleys there are in the state, let alone the nation?

Perhaps if they threw in some typos, added some Microsoft Word clipart and typed everything in Comic Sans would I recognize its Visalia origins. Then again, you’d be Visalia Buzz and I would hate you.

There has to be a balance between super production and home-grown feel. I’m happy that there’s more opportunities for writing in-depth features, photography and professional graphic design in this area, as I just so happen to provide all those services (*cough*foraverynominalfee*cough*). But it’s very hard to keep up the costs of producing these magazines on a long-term basis, so you more than likely wouldn’t be hiring your freelancers for long. I’ve seen so many mags come and go, so I am always extra cautious about the latest eye candy littering Main Street.

There’s a chance that What’s Up Central Valley may last beyond its first year only because it is sponsored by gorrilatix.com, which has been around long enough to no longer be an upstart in my book. Plus they’re an events company, so the mag doubles as their own self-advertisements. The problem is that they’re direct-mail only, like that Visalia Direct magazine is, only glossier and sent to homes with a higher household income. So as much as I’d like to tell you all about this new magazine, I don’t actually have a copy with me. You cannot go out to the streets and pick one up. I am sorry. That makes me wretch. We didn’t want to attend your elitist snob events anyway.

But look, these magazines are not all bad — I am definitely pro-magazines. I like reading different perspectives and seeing other local stories highlighted and brought to the public’s attention. And with that respect, Valley Trends covers a lot of ground for a handheld-sized publication — places to fish and golf locally, features on local musicians and artists, bartender of the month, and a piece on local cowgirls who went to Australia to compete. It’s not too shabby for what it aims to be, and I like the little acknowledgment of *nightlife* in Visalia. So it is worth keeping a (very closely-trained) eye out for. I believe they distribute at places like Visalia Coffee Company.

I’d love to tell you what’s up with What’s Up, but I’ll leave that until the day I make enough income to be targeted by them.

Welcome to visalia*snark!

{ September 8, 2007 @ 10:14 pm } · { local guide }
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I aim to keep this the go-to blog for all sorts of commentary and issues and events going on in Visalia. Keep tabs on this website for continuous updates, subscribe by email or contact me at visaliasnark at yahoo daught calm if you would like to be a contributor!

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