Archive for nightlife

Bring a guitar and some attitude…It’s Open Mic Night at The Cellar Door!

{ November 20, 2007 @ 12:20 am } · { events, music, nightlife, visalia }
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from barkos:

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It took quite some effort to drag my lazy carcass out of the house on a Tuesday night. But it happened nonetheless due to my utter fascination with the concept of “open mic night” and a desire to not feel like too much of a worthless contributor this fabulous site (plug. plug.)

As a musician, the concept of having a place where anyone with an iota of talent (and of course those that don’t) and an instrument can get up and play to a alternately drunk and appreciative audience, is truly wonderful. For many years I was a regular at Club Fred in Fresno’s open mic night and that scene was pretty chaotic but always fun. My hopes were that a Visalia open mic could dredge out all the poor souls locked in their homes brilliantly strumming away with no one to hear them. I arrived at the C.D. (yes I am trying to start an abbreviation trend here…) by bike, at approximately 8:45pm. The talent ostensibly was supposed to start around 8:30pm but like most music venues, nothing ever starts on time. I figured I was safe to scope out a spot and order a beer. It was pretty dead to start with but soon more and more people flowed into the place. What I have liked about the C.D. (there it is again…catching on yet!?) at the few shows I have seen there, is that fact that it draws such a wide variety of Visalians. You get young people just out looking for a date (sadly they are the most annoying of club goers in my opinion), crusty old musicians who seem like they haven’t played in years in front of people, older people out for a drink and some entertainment…and this night wasn’t any different. As the night wore on, several things happened which deserve to be commented on, however, in the interest of fairness and anonymity, I will not offer any negative opinions of those brave enough to get up on stage in front of strangers with alcohol. Random events were as follows:

Some mention by the host, (comedian/bartender “Gary”) of that night’s flow being not like the usual set up. He says there is usually a full band set up. Hmmm, very intriging.

Cackling gaggle of women acting sufficiently brainless in order to lure equally brainless men to hit on them.

A Dinuba drama teacher with a nylon string guitar with enough stage presence to carry us all. This guy made my bike ride worth it. And we had the same type of hat!

Open mic rule #1: Be prepared. Bring notes, extra picks, illegal drugs…whatever you need to get your point across.

Leave your flash option turned on, or you may get unintentionally artsy pics like these:

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A performer, sometime after his set, spilled a drink on the hardwood floor. He continued to play guitar from the audience while an employee cleaned up the mess.

Open mic rule #2: Anything goes. Bring poems. Bring a guitar. Bring electric eels and strawberry jam. Uh, scratch that, leave anything living at home. Strawberry jam? Still cool…

Bottom line, The Cellar Door is not just for musicians. If you have a talent, you may have an audience. And to top it off everyone was cool, no boo’s or heckling at all! Unless you were a comedian, but hey they have a tougher hide than the rest of us. No really, it’s been scientifically proven.

I plan to get out there as much as possible and so hope to see some new talent soon. That means YOU! We have to support this kind of forum before it disappears and we’re all wondering what the hell we’re going to do with a jar of strawberry jam and an eel on a Tuesday night. Believe me there aren’t that many options.

-Barkos

Dude. Dude. There’s something happening in Visalia this weekend. DUUUUUUDE!

{ October 17, 2007 @ 2:27 pm } · { art, community & culture, events, music, nightlife }
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I know this weekend has just slipped away, but I’m already thinking forward to next weekend, far past the monotonous hours at my cubicle being forced to listen to 98.9, “your favorite soft rock hits,” which, by the way, is NONE, I DON’T HAVE A FAVORITE SOFT ROCK HIT, THANKYOUVERYMUCH JOHN F-ING TESH.

(Maybe “Sailing” by Christopher Cross, but that’s IT.)

Anyway, I’m really looking forward to next weekend because there’s actually something to do in town, other than stare at a screen typing up all the stuff to do in town. Or maybe I’m just speaking for me.

Here’s 3 oh-my-god-that’s-AWESOME events this weekend that I know of so far:

Arts Trolley – Oct. 27

I always get as giddy as a school*snark when Arts Trolley time rolls around. Every year the downtown trolley picks you up and drops you off at different arts venues downtown. That includes the performance venues and theaters, art galleries (yes, that’s a plural!), music centers and other spots specifically set up for the trolley.

However, I haven’t seen a single news article or website on it this year. Google says NADA about it. The only way I found out about it is through an advertisement in the paper. And they say advertising in newspapers is a waste of money. (They’re usually right.)

Anyway, just show up downtown Oct. 27 (this Saturday) from 11 to 3 pm, and the trolley will give you a free ride to open houses at these places:

  • Spottedhorse Academy Arts
  • Arenas Fine Art Gallery
  • Rococo Styles and Bead Gallery
  • Easelheads Gallery
  • Visalia Convention Center
  • The Enchanted Playhouse
  • Tulare County Symphony
  • Sierra Performing Arts
  • ImagineU Children’s Museum
  • Icehouse Theatre
  • The Creative Center
  • Arts Visalia Gallery

I am a bit disappointed they’re leaving the COS Gallery out of the loop this year, but whatthehell. I’ll take what I can get.

The ad mentions prizes and food, but I don’t seem to remember much food in years past, unless it was that bowl of pretzels in the Creative Center, which is good enough for me.

The ad also mentions to get stamped by at least 6 places for a grand prize drawing SO GRAND that you don’t know what the prize is, other than the fact that you’ve just visited at least 6 artists hubs in downtown Visalia. Which, again, is also good enough for me, as I am easily amused.

Also, don’t forget to walk all through the Montgomery Square galleries (many of them are listed above). They’re open on more days than just Saturday, and because they’re tucked in between Tazzeria and El Tarasco, many people don’t know they exist. This is about the coolest thing Visalia has done recently to promote the arts. It may sometimes be old ladies’ art, but old ladies can be extremely talented! (Yes, you, Abby Rubinstein!)

Guitar Hero Tournament – Oct. 27

I mourn the Tuesday night Guitar Hero at Crawdaddy’s, mostly because the public is stupid and never went, and also because I never went. Well I won’t be as stupid as the public again, because there is going to be a kick-ass Guitar Hero II tournament, a gaming tournament the likes of Visalia has never seen before!

(Well, if you’re a super geek, then the likes of Visalia has seen GigaFrag, which is ironically held on the same exact day.)

If you’re unfamiliar to the beauty that is Guitar Hero, watch as this 8-year-old on YouTube pwns y00. It’s like Dance Dance Revolution for your fingers. (And again with the freakish children YouTube clips.)

People who criticize the guitar heroes out there for playing Guitar Hero and not learning how to play real guitar are, frankly, communists. It’s like telling a Tetris addict, “Why don’t you learn how to catch and rotate falling brick shapes in REAL LIFE, dumbass?”

So this tournament is at the Fox Theatre from 12-9 pm. It’s $3 to watch, $20 to play, and the top award is $200. And the Widders perform, too (formerly the Cacti Widders, but JD’s doing his own thing now.) Totally worth the price of admission if you haven’t seen the local rockabilly heroes perform.

Everything else you wanted to know, including how to sign up, can be found here: http://www.myspace.com/rockatthefox.

Here’s a very funny interview with the guy putting on the event, at the brand spankin’ new From the Monkey blog. I do like me some snark and I take back nearly a third the bad things I said about What’s Up Central Valley. (Perhaps if he’s nice I’ll add another fourth to the things I’ll take back, which is, if you flip the reciprocal and divide its cross-numbers after you carry the nine, would equal about 472%.)

Download a gigantenormous poster of the event here. Why? Because this post doesn’t have enough links in it.

Sundays at the Oval – Oct. 28

Come on… it’s almost Halloween, and what could be scarier than the Oval after dark?

But there’s good news for scaredy-cats: This event is during daylight hours. (Um, mostly.)

It’s from 2-7 pm Oct. 28 and it’s put on by the wicked cool people from 94.1 FM . (I was just listening today and they’re playing things like Radiohead and the Flaming Lips alongside local hip-hop and reggae! It’s all local people putting the programs together, and the station only broadcasts in the Visalia area only, so screw you Fresno!)

Anyway, the event will have music, food, the infamous city council North Side debate somewhere in there, along with performances from bands like:

  • Conjunto Califas
  • Lunchbox
  • Grupo Aji
  • Yohan Lahu

(I know Lunchbox is always a grand time, but I haven’t heard of the other 3.)

All the info you need is on this image here:

I think the whole point of this event is to break the negative reputation the Oval has. So if you don’t come, I officially declare you a chicken. And possibly racist. Bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk.

Crawdaddy’s goes ghetto

{ October 2, 2007 @ 1:18 am } · { dining, nightlife }
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I actually used to like Crawdaddy’s. I didn’t hold it too much against them that their big honkin’ way-past-deadline construction problems forced Magical Cakes and Mystical Teas out of business. The food is good, I like the mixed-zoning idea of someone’s apartment being upstairs. You turn in a movie ticket stub, get 20% off, and when you order their spaghetti creole value meal with the discount, you get a drink and a huge delicious plate of spaghetti with a nice little kick for only about $5. They used to do Guitar Hero nights every Tuesday, until the general Visalia public were too lame and stupid to show up. I hate you, general public.

And while they serve the raddest cocktails outside of Tommy’s, it just got too expensive to drink there, so I had stopped going for about a month or two.

Perhaps I shouldn’t have been as shocked to see what the place has become. But I was. And it’s, um, er, uh, wow.

They now have a hip-hop DJ downstairs from Tuesday through Saturday and a live band upstairs on Fridays. (I’m all for live music, but the clientele you attract for the DJ make fighting to get to the staircase NOT worth the effort.) Lines are out the FREAKIN’ DOOR to get in on the weekend. Which is sad: I don’t want to consume my spaghetti creole in a dance club, for god’s sake.

Right, well, nightlife in Visalia, sure, hurray and all that crap. But leave me the spaghetti in peace, thankyouverymuch.

Open Mic nights downtown

{ September 26, 2007 @ 4:54 pm } · { community & culture, events, music, nightlife, the creative scene, what's new in town }
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Every Tuesday at 8:30 pm the Cellar Door has open mic/jam nights. Check it out:

Comedy at Howies? And it’s not Mandell?

{ September 25, 2007 @ 5:04 am } · { events, nightlife }
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I have never conceived of the day that Howie and Sons would have an all-comedy roundup. So I am intrigued. Is this a first? And the most important question is: will it be lame?

It’s got Comedy Central written all over it, and Sound n Vision rarely disappoints, so sources point to no. But will crowds eat up pizza parlor jokes like the gooey greasy garlic cheese pizzas they order — because they’re there, not because they really want it?

You decide.

—————– Bulletin Message —————–
From: Sound n Vision Mag!
Date: Sep 24, 2007 8:27 PM

Wednesday, September 26, 2007
NEIL HAMBURGER (New Mexico)
Pleaseeasaur (Seattle)
Gary Lee (Visalia)
$5, All Ages, 9:30pm
Howie & Son’s Pizza & Beer Parlor

Known as “America’s Funnyman” hard-working comedian Neil Hamburger has toured the world. In 2006 alone, Hamburger performed a record 420 shows. He recently opened for Tenacious D during their Pick of Destiny Tour. In the movie, The Pick of Destiny, Hamburger made a brief cameo appearance before Tenacious D came on stage to perform. Neil Hamburger is also frequently on Comedy Central’s “Poolside Chats” w/ Tom Green.

His approach to stand-up comedy is very unique. He creates a lot of tension by continuously clearing his throat and sustaining long, awkward pauses, which causes the audience to hang on his every word. His routine goes on many crazy tangents, and is often altered on the spot to incorporate the crowd. We are excited to have him at Howie’s Pizza because Neil has already dedicated a whole album “Great Moments At Di Presa’s Pizza House” to pizza parlor related jokes. I can’t think of a cooler venue for him than Howie & Son’s Pizza!
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Neil’s touring support is Seattle’s, Pleaseeasaur. Pleaseeasaur is an astonishing two-man entertainment strike-force comprised of performer/musician JP Hasson and projectionist/costume designer/multimedia extraordinaire Thomas Hurley III. The duo recently signed a 7 year contract with the prestigious Comedy Central. The dynamic duo specializes in the absurd…and the absurdly funny.

The evening’s first performer will be Visalia local Gary Lee.

Gary Lee performed a short comedy routine during the VAM Festival that went over so well that I absolutely had to put him on the Neil Hamburger bill. Gary is a young and determined local comedian on the rise.

Hope to see you there,
VF

Ripping the flavor out of downtown

{ September 18, 2007 @ 4:16 am } · { dining, events, nightlife }
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I had this scheming cheap evil friend who shall remain nameless and is completely undeserving of any “friend” title I might bestow upon him for lack of better word to call him. Anyway, he told me about last year’s Taste of Downtown event. (This year it’s Oct. 2, by the way.) He also told me how he fully intended on purchasing a $30 wristband, with full-on finger quotes around the word “intended,” but they were sold out on the night of the event. This cheapskate jerk then told me about how he just approached the different restaurants and that it was so crowded they couldn’t keep track of who had the wristbands or not. The different restaurants let him eat without paying a dime.

Nameless Stupid Jerk was bragging about how he was ripping off the downtown Visalian bread and butter. The restaurants that need every dollar to stay in competition from the crappy Olive Gardens of this world. The very same restaurants Stupid Nameless Stupid Jerk Face complains about!

You, dear reader, must understand how Visalia-think is… “Oooh, there’s a _____ coming to Visalia!” To me, if you can recognize the name (and it’s not Trader Joes), it’s not worth eating at. Why? BECAUSE IT’S A CHAIN, STUPID.

Sure, not all chains are bad, but given the choice between sending money to hard-working locals with a dream to maintain a good restaurant or flushing money down the corporate-centered toilet, I hope you can grasp by my vivid word imagery that I would choose the former.

So Total Loser Cheapskate, I hope you read this and come to a realization that one day you will roast in a special kind of Hell, preferably one catered by Applebees.

Info from the Times-Delta:

“Visalia’s 14th Annual Taste of Downtown event will be 5-9 p.m. Oct. 2. Tickets are on sale for $30 now at the Downtown Visalians and Alliance business office, 104 S. Church St. Stop by and pick them up or call and have them held for you by using your credit card.

The event features 27 downtown restaurants. Armed with a map and, hopefully, good walking shoes, participants can start anywhere they like and stroll along tasting some of Visalia’s finest foods.

Bank of the Sierra will host a wine-and-cheese tasting 5-8 p.m., and Visalia Community Bank will host a beer tasting, also 5-8 p.m.

There will be root beer floats provided by A&W at Garden Street Plaza, where the St. John’s River Boat Band will play and the sounds of Still Water band can be heard as you walk past the Fox Theatre.

Information: 732-7737.”