Archive for community & culture

Horror movie festival, independent films, and other moves that aren’t Spiderman 3

{ November 11, 2007 @ 2:24 am } · { community & culture, events, what's new in town }
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Eight low-budget horror movies playing at the downtown Visalia theater? I just have to say, this sounds absolutely one-hundred percent bad-ass. More bad-ass than Big Bubba’s Bad-Ass BBQ, which is pretty damn bad-ass.

  • The Deaths of Ian Stone” — A young man is forced to relive his death over and over again. Screens at 7 p.m. today; 1 and 7 p.m. Monday
  • “Nightmare Man” — A woman and her friends are stalked by a mysterious force while hiding out in a remote cabin. Costars Richard Moll from “Night Court” fame. Screens at 1 and 7 p.m. Sunday; 3:30 p.m. Thursday.
  • “Crazy Eights” — While attending the funeral of a childhood friend, six people go on a creepy treasure hunt. Costars former porn star Traci Lords. BAD-ASS! Screens at 3:30 and 9:30 p.m. Sunday; 7 p.m. Thursday.
  • “Unearthed” — A 9,000-year-old creature dug up during an archeological survey chows down on the citizens of a small town. Screens at 1 and 9:30 p.m. today; 3:30 and 9:30 p.m. Monday.
  • “Borderland” — Three college students vacationing in Mexico find themselves running from a blood cult that wants to use them as human sacrifices. Screens at 3:30 p.m. today; 1 and 7 p.m. Tuesday.
  • “Mulberry Street” — Zombies descend on New York City, forcing six people to make a last stand at a crumbling apartment complex. Screens at 7 p.m. Saturday; 3:30 and 9 p.m. Wednesday.
  • “Tooth and Nail” — In a post-apocalyptic world, cannibals attack a band of survivors holed up in an abandoned hospital. Screens at 3:30 p.m. Saturday; 1 and 7 p.m. Wednesday.
  • “Lake Dead” — Three sisters and their friends are attacked by inbred rednecks in rural America. Screens at 1 and 9:30 p.m. Saturday; 3:30 and 9:30 p.m. Tuesday.

    • HOW FREAKING SWEET do these movies sound!?!? www.horrorfestonline.com has all the bad-ass trailers.

    Independent move lineup

    In more sophisticated movie news, the next few Wednesdays and Thursdays will have these following independent movies, again at the downtown Visalia theater:

  • This Wednesday and Thursday: “King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters” — A documentary about people who obsessively play the video game Donkey Kong.
  • Nov. 29-29: “In the Shadow of the Moon” — A documentary about the U.S. astronauts who landed on the moon.
  • Dec. 5-6: “Great World of Sound” — A comedy about the travails of an independent record producer.
  • Dec. 12-13: “Dedication” — A dramatic comedy about a misogynistic children’s book author. It stars Billy Crudup, Peter Bogdanovich, Mandy Moore and Amy Sedaris.

    • I know it’s not a horror festival, but the presence of both Donkey Kong and Amy Sedaris does boost the independent movie lineup a few notches on the bad-ass scale.

    Want more arts & culture in Visalia? Tell the city yourself.

    { November 11, 2007 @ 1:36 am } · { big issues, community & culture, events, visalia }
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    I saw this in the paper the other day and just about salivated.

    Then I got past the promise of free food at a public meeting in Brewbakers and began to salivate for a different reason.

    Here’s what it says:

    “Want more music in Visalia? Better music? Want film festivals, plays or poetry readings on something interesting? Want something different that you never thought you would see in Visalia? Think no one really cares about what you think and things will never change in Visalia?”

    This is quoted from a newspaper which quoted an email forward from city deputy manager Leslie Caviglia (which is the kind of quality first-hand information you’ve come to expect from the *snark). And to those 5 questions, I respond 1) yes, 2) yes, 3) yes, 4) yes, and 5) I hope that what you’re about to tell me will change my answer.

    Turns out, Leslie and the city staff actually want to hear what us, the people of Visalia, think about the arts and culture scene in Visalia. Imagine! A cultural plan that actually involves the young adults that participate in said culture!

    Unfortunately, that means you’re going to actually have to get off your ass and show up at Brewbakers on Tuesday, 6-8 pm.

    Then again, free food.

    • Arts groups: Noon to 1:30 p.m. Tuesday, Visalia Convention Center, 303 E. Acequia Ave., Visalia (food provided).
    • Young adults (18 and older): 6-8 p.m. Tuesday, Brewbakers, 219 E. Main St., Visalia (food provided).
    • Local artists: Noon to 1:30 p.m. Wednesday, Visalia Convention Center (food provided).
    • General public: 7-8:30 p.m. Wednesday, Visalia Convention Center. This forum is for all ages, including children.
      Information: 713-4314.

    Google also tells me that this Leslie Cavigla enigma that has never bothered to talk to us before and therefore never existed before this moment also has an email address: lcaviglia@ci.visalia.ca.us. So for those of you who have something to say about the state of the (lack of) culture but are too lazy/busy with soccer practice/resistant to be bribed with free food to come Tuesday or Wednesday, email her your ideas.

    But to those of us too unlazy/not busy with soccer practice/too cheap to buy our own damn groceries: Freeeeeee fooooooood!

    Some Halloween crap to do in Visalia!

    { October 26, 2007 @ 11:06 pm } · { art, community & culture, events, faith, get involved, visalia }
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    Nothing is scarier than Halloween. Also, nothing is scarier than Visalia. And when you put two and two together, you better wear your Depends with that J-Lo costume, honey, because it’s going to be a guaranteed shit-in-your-pants-fest. (And also because it makes your butt look just about her size.)

    Here’s the only Halloween week/weekend events you need to know about:

    Vossler Farms

    For the I-am-so-lost-and-will-never-
    see-my-family-again kind of scary

    Not since the X-Files movie has corn ever looked or smelled so terrifying. That earthy damp stench gets to you about hour 6 of fighting your way out of that damn maze. And when you conveniently forget your flashlight and were too cheap to buy one at the stand and the sun sets on you in the middle of only station #7, don’t come crying to me. Cry instead to your friendly neighborhood helicopter pilot, like I told you before to do.

    (Go to www.vosslerfarms.com for times, prices, etc. etc. )

    Sequoia Mall Haunted Warehouse

    For the why-yes-I-do-enjoy-camouflaged-demented-
    unpaid-volunteers-to-jump-in-front-of-me kind of scary

    Ever since Ross vacated the Sequoia Mall for greener pastures, the city of Visalia has taken that as a metaphor that Ross has passed away and is in Heaven now with all the pretty angels and a Dress Barn. The empty grave in the side of the mall is now a haunted hellhole, and they conveniently charge $5 admission to see it.

    Time: 6-10 pm Oct. 26-27 and 6-9 pm Oct. 29-31.

    (And it can’t be left unsaid: If I were to come up with a name out of thin air for a clothing store where all the pretty angels shopped, it would have to be Dress Barn.)

    Hobbs Grove

    For the all-of-the-above-plus-a-hay-ride kind of scary

    I confess, it’s been years since I’ve made the trek to Sanger, but it’s a tradition for many Central Valley residents to take their little cousin on the haunted hayride just to see if they get knocked over by a goblin. (Head injuries are fun AND scary!)

    But I haven’t been to Hobb’s Grove in a long time. Also, it’s hella expensive. If you’re 12 and up, it’s $10 for the hayride, $12.50 for the haunted house, and $12.50 for the haunted forest.

    That boooooooo sound you hear across town is not a ghost — it’s 200 mothers booing those prices.

    Thurston Moore

    For the holy-hell-what-kind-of-superstar-magnet-
    place-is-this-town-becoming kind of scary

    Experimental-art-rock god Thurston Moore — yes, the guy in Sonic Youth, I shit you not — is coming to Howie and Son’s on Halloween night. Rumor has it that he actually asked to come to Visalia, which will make him the first person in history to ever ask to come to Visalia.

    9 pm Oct. 31, $10. Wear costumes, but no masks. Personally, I’m going to dress up as Thurston Moore and steal his equipment to auction on eBay. No one copy me.

    Corey’s Halloween Nightmare Show

    For the how-many-sharp-pointy-
    metal-things-are-ON-these-people? kind of scary

    For all your punk, hardcore, crustcore, apple-core, Marine-core and other -core needs, visit the aptly-named Corey’s show Oct. 27 at 4 pm 3636 S Sallee. Just follow the trail of death across from Sequoia Mall — and this time the corpses have nothing to do with Sears.

    Wear a costume and it’s $2, be a loser and it’s $4.

    And eyeliner is NOT a costume.

    Magoo’s… or… ?

    For the what-the-hell-is-this?-
    Do-I-even-want-to-know? kind of scary

    “Halloween bash at magoo’s on saturday.”

    That’s all I know about that. Um, thanks MushroomJazz….. ?

    Harvest Festivals galore

    For the I-drink-the-symbolic-blood-of-a-2000-year-old-rabbi-
    but-I-won’t-let-my-kids-watch-The-Simpsons kind of scary

    OK, I’m really not anti-Christian here (looks up at God and awaits my smiting). See, look, I’m listing all you churches who want to hollow out Halloween and turn it into some generic harvest festival. See? Publicity!

    Oct. 31, from 5-ish to 9-ish, all these places will be having… sigh… “harvest festivals”….

    * Heart of the Valley Christian Fellowship, Walnut and County Center * GateWay Church, 1100 S. Sowell * Visalia New Life Church, 1905 E. Noble * Sundale Union School, 13990 Ave. 240 in Tulare * Wayside Church of Nazarene, 1929 E Bardsley in Tulare * Tulare Community Church, 1820 Gem St. in Tulare.

    And I just realized that people will look up the names of these churches on Google in good faith, find my site and see a cuss word or two. If that is you reading this right now, I am sorry to have defiled your virgin eyes.

    *smite*

    Grab bag of other Halloween stuff

    For the who-gives-a-crap kind of scary

    • Costume party at The Depot 9 pm Oct. 27 with Rene Emilio playing whatever he plays every week at The Depot. Sounds like it’s for rich people.
    • Buckman Mitchell Haunted Insurance — er, Hotel. On Oct. 31 3-5 pm they will turn their old downtown building into a haunted-yet-kid-friendly hotel. Sounds like it’s for poor people. (And, funnily enough, it is — price of admission is canned food for Visalia Emergency Aid.)

    Not-so-Halloween stuff

    For the this-ain’t-scary-this-is-my-brother kind of non-scary

    These events have nothing to do with Halloween, but they’re this weekend anyway, and as a public service announcement I would like to remind you of how I may or may not have informed you of their existences:

    • Sundays at the Oval. WHY this event had next to ZERO press coverage is completely mind-boggling. It has everything the media could want – city council candidates, city council candidates on the NORTH SIDE in a PUBLIC AREA, a community radio station that’s by all accounts made completely from scratch from Visalian volunteers, music, and a family-friendly festival in a notorious park… it’s absolute bullshit that no one is paying attention. So I am here to do the right thing and promote this event. It’s this Sunday the 28, 2-7 pm. The flyer can be found here. And you should go there.
    • Guitar Hero tournament. I’m a big fan of Guitar Hero, and I’m stoked that Saturday there will be a tournament in the historical halls of the Fox Theatre from 12-9 pm. It’s $3 to watch, $20 to play, and the top award is $200. And the Widders perform, too, making that $3 worth the price of admission.
    • Downtown Arts Trolley – Just show up downtown Oct. 27 (Saturday) from 11 to 3 pm, and the trolley will give you a free ride to several arts venues in downtown Visalia. Yes, there are several.

     

    Anyone have any other events going on? I’ll do a post-Halloween roundup once this spooky crap is done with. So send in your submissions!

    Dude. Dude. There’s something happening in Visalia this weekend. DUUUUUUDE!

    { October 17, 2007 @ 2:27 pm } · { art, community & culture, events, music, nightlife }
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    I know this weekend has just slipped away, but I’m already thinking forward to next weekend, far past the monotonous hours at my cubicle being forced to listen to 98.9, “your favorite soft rock hits,” which, by the way, is NONE, I DON’T HAVE A FAVORITE SOFT ROCK HIT, THANKYOUVERYMUCH JOHN F-ING TESH.

    (Maybe “Sailing” by Christopher Cross, but that’s IT.)

    Anyway, I’m really looking forward to next weekend because there’s actually something to do in town, other than stare at a screen typing up all the stuff to do in town. Or maybe I’m just speaking for me.

    Here’s 3 oh-my-god-that’s-AWESOME events this weekend that I know of so far:

    Arts Trolley – Oct. 27

    I always get as giddy as a school*snark when Arts Trolley time rolls around. Every year the downtown trolley picks you up and drops you off at different arts venues downtown. That includes the performance venues and theaters, art galleries (yes, that’s a plural!), music centers and other spots specifically set up for the trolley.

    However, I haven’t seen a single news article or website on it this year. Google says NADA about it. The only way I found out about it is through an advertisement in the paper. And they say advertising in newspapers is a waste of money. (They’re usually right.)

    Anyway, just show up downtown Oct. 27 (this Saturday) from 11 to 3 pm, and the trolley will give you a free ride to open houses at these places:

    • Spottedhorse Academy Arts
    • Arenas Fine Art Gallery
    • Rococo Styles and Bead Gallery
    • Easelheads Gallery
    • Visalia Convention Center
    • The Enchanted Playhouse
    • Tulare County Symphony
    • Sierra Performing Arts
    • ImagineU Children’s Museum
    • Icehouse Theatre
    • The Creative Center
    • Arts Visalia Gallery

    I am a bit disappointed they’re leaving the COS Gallery out of the loop this year, but whatthehell. I’ll take what I can get.

    The ad mentions prizes and food, but I don’t seem to remember much food in years past, unless it was that bowl of pretzels in the Creative Center, which is good enough for me.

    The ad also mentions to get stamped by at least 6 places for a grand prize drawing SO GRAND that you don’t know what the prize is, other than the fact that you’ve just visited at least 6 artists hubs in downtown Visalia. Which, again, is also good enough for me, as I am easily amused.

    Also, don’t forget to walk all through the Montgomery Square galleries (many of them are listed above). They’re open on more days than just Saturday, and because they’re tucked in between Tazzeria and El Tarasco, many people don’t know they exist. This is about the coolest thing Visalia has done recently to promote the arts. It may sometimes be old ladies’ art, but old ladies can be extremely talented! (Yes, you, Abby Rubinstein!)

    Guitar Hero Tournament – Oct. 27

    I mourn the Tuesday night Guitar Hero at Crawdaddy’s, mostly because the public is stupid and never went, and also because I never went. Well I won’t be as stupid as the public again, because there is going to be a kick-ass Guitar Hero II tournament, a gaming tournament the likes of Visalia has never seen before!

    (Well, if you’re a super geek, then the likes of Visalia has seen GigaFrag, which is ironically held on the same exact day.)

    If you’re unfamiliar to the beauty that is Guitar Hero, watch as this 8-year-old on YouTube pwns y00. It’s like Dance Dance Revolution for your fingers. (And again with the freakish children YouTube clips.)

    People who criticize the guitar heroes out there for playing Guitar Hero and not learning how to play real guitar are, frankly, communists. It’s like telling a Tetris addict, “Why don’t you learn how to catch and rotate falling brick shapes in REAL LIFE, dumbass?”

    So this tournament is at the Fox Theatre from 12-9 pm. It’s $3 to watch, $20 to play, and the top award is $200. And the Widders perform, too (formerly the Cacti Widders, but JD’s doing his own thing now.) Totally worth the price of admission if you haven’t seen the local rockabilly heroes perform.

    Everything else you wanted to know, including how to sign up, can be found here: http://www.myspace.com/rockatthefox.

    Here’s a very funny interview with the guy putting on the event, at the brand spankin’ new From the Monkey blog. I do like me some snark and I take back nearly a third the bad things I said about What’s Up Central Valley. (Perhaps if he’s nice I’ll add another fourth to the things I’ll take back, which is, if you flip the reciprocal and divide its cross-numbers after you carry the nine, would equal about 472%.)

    Download a gigantenormous poster of the event here. Why? Because this post doesn’t have enough links in it.

    Sundays at the Oval – Oct. 28

    Come on… it’s almost Halloween, and what could be scarier than the Oval after dark?

    But there’s good news for scaredy-cats: This event is during daylight hours. (Um, mostly.)

    It’s from 2-7 pm Oct. 28 and it’s put on by the wicked cool people from 94.1 FM . (I was just listening today and they’re playing things like Radiohead and the Flaming Lips alongside local hip-hop and reggae! It’s all local people putting the programs together, and the station only broadcasts in the Visalia area only, so screw you Fresno!)

    Anyway, the event will have music, food, the infamous city council North Side debate somewhere in there, along with performances from bands like:

    • Conjunto Califas
    • Lunchbox
    • Grupo Aji
    • Yohan Lahu

    (I know Lunchbox is always a grand time, but I haven’t heard of the other 3.)

    All the info you need is on this image here:

    I think the whole point of this event is to break the negative reputation the Oval has. So if you don’t come, I officially declare you a chicken. And possibly racist. Bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk.

    Open Mic nights downtown

    { September 26, 2007 @ 4:54 pm } · { community & culture, events, music, nightlife, the creative scene, what's new in town }
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    Every Tuesday at 8:30 pm the Cellar Door has open mic/jam nights. Check it out:

    The candidates forum will be televised

    { September 20, 2007 @ 9:34 pm } · { big issues, community & culture, get involved, politics }
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    Apparently, there will be a forum of Visalia city council candidates at at El Diamante High School from 7-9 p.m. Sept. 24 (that’s this Monday). And the good news is that it will be televised on KSEE 24, or Comcast channel 195, or www.ksee24.com, depending on who you believe. I’m quite stoked about the webcast, I don’t think that’s ever been done in Visalia before. (Has it?) However, I also hear a rumor that for some stupid reason, you have to click on the “Weather” section of ksee24.com to view it. I guess because this candidate forum will come at you like a hurricane or something. :/

    Anyway, all 7 candidates said they will be attending:

    Bob Link (the incumbent)
    Timothy Fosberg
    Mike Lane
    Rusty Barker
    Amy Shuklian
    Roland Lee Soltesz
    Mary Wheeler

    (if anyone knows of any candidate websites I’m missing, please email me at visaliasnark at yahoo daught calm.)

    It’s interesting to note that the only thing I remember from any of these candidates is this article. Basically, Mike Lane lashed out at the parents of a group of kids arrested for having a brawl at school, saying the parents should be the ones held responsible. Candidates reacted. This will probably be hot topic #1 at the forum, since it seems like there’s not much else to talk about these candidates. Hopefully this debate will reveal more differences and make the choice a little more clear for us voters.

    Download a list of all this year’s candidates in the area for any position, ever.

    (Side note: The next candidate forum will be for the school board of trustees: 7-9 p.m. on Monday, Oct. 8, at the Mill Creek Conference Center, also known as the Elks Club Lodge. I think it’s still the same deal, with KSEE covering it on television and such.)

    Oh, Vossler’s, what times we’ve had.

    { September 19, 2007 @ 11:03 pm } · { community & culture, events, spotlight, what's new in town }
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    Whoever said Vossler’s Corn Maze closed down is a big fat liar.

    Here’s how to have the most fun at the corn maze this year:

    • Get 10 to 200 of your closest friends together and get them all tipsy. Just enough to be giggly, but not drunk enough to prohibit driving/being kicked out for disorderly conduct/having bad breath.
    • Split those 200 people into teams and see who can punch in at all the checkpoints first.
    • Block out 3 or 4 hours of your day for this godforsaken task.
    • Don’t forget the flashlights. Do. NOT. FORGET. The flashlights.
    • Keep a helicopter pilot on speed dial. Just in case.

    Hours & info:

    • Just north of South Mooney Boulevard and Avenue 266
    • September hours: Fridays and Saturdays, 5-10 p.m.; Sundays, 5-9 p.m. (Beginning Sept. 29, maze is open daily except Monday and Tuesday).
    • Prices: 12-54, $8; 11 and younger, $6; 55 and older, $5; 4 and younger and those with current military ID, free
    • Information: (888) 528-1724; www.vosslerfarms.com

    (EDIT: The no-fun joykillers at Vossler Farms said that among the basic rules: no running or throwing corn, no alcoholic beverages and no smoking. Booo-urns.)

    (EDIT AGAIN!: I found two videos online for Vossler Farms — the first one is at the Times-Delta website and the second one is at The Jaded Visalian. Check em out. Also: who knew that the Times-Delta employed someone so HOT?)

    1000 Hands project — an amazing event

    { September 19, 2007 @ 6:49 pm } · { community & culture, events, get involved }
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    You have to check this out. (or this.) This is a playground that Visalia kids DESIGNED. And you’re going to help build it!

    This is a really great project that I’ve personally volunteered for and will definitely volunteer again. It’s happening this week and this week only, so get off your lazy ass and go do something for the greater good. If you want to hammer things, drill things, lift things and piece things together while getting dirty and dusty with your neighbors that you never talk to and will probably never meet again, this is THE event for you.

    You can volunteer any time from 8 a.m.-8 p.m. today through Sunday. Show up for one of 3 shifts: 8-12, 12-5 or 5-8. It’s at the new Visalia sports park on Dinuba Blvd. and Riggin Ave. in north Visalia. It don’t cost you a dime, you get some food for your time, and you have the priviledge of knowing your hands built something super duper awesome.

    For more info, call 713-4384.

    Seriously. if you have a bit of spare time this week, DO IT.

    COS hosts Philosophy Talk

    { September 9, 2007 @ 11:19 am } · { classes & lectures, community & culture, events }
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    COS Arts and Lectures series is at it again. They really bring some amazing stuff to little ol’ Visalia. Like this, taken from www.cos.edu/artsandlectures/:

    Philosophy Talk

    The program that questions everything
    …except your intelligence.

    Sep. 14 , 7:00PM
     COS Theater
    $5 / ASB Free
    “Philosophy Talk, a weekly, one-hour radio series, will be recording an episode live at the COS Theater. The hosts’ down-to-earth and no-nonsense approach brings the richness of philosophic thought to everyday subjects. Topics for past programs have been lofty (Truth, Beauty, Justice), arresting (Terrorism, Intelligent Design, Suicide), and engaging (Baseball, Love, Happiness).

    This is not a lecture or a college course, it’s philosophy in action! Philosophy Talk is a fun opportunity to explore issues of importance to the audience in a thoughtful, friendly fashion, where thinking is encouraged.

    Ken Taylor is Professor and Chair of the Department of Philosophy at Stanford University. His work lies at the intersection of the philosophy of language and the philosophy of mind, with an occasional foray into the history of philosophy.

    John Perry is Henry Waldgrave Stuart Professor of Philosophy at Stanford University. He is a member of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences and a recipient of many honors and awards, including the Nicod and Humboldt Prizes. A popular lecturer, in 1990 he was awarded the Dinkelspiel Award for undergraduate teaching.”